ARGH!

Mom got the itch to move furniture and now the whole place is a mess. No one can agree where to put stuff. The only one willing to give anything up is Mom- who is the most fragile of us and needs her comfort the most. They asked for my input, but I already told them before we moved in what would fit and what wouldn't. Did they listen? Of course not.

The plain, ugly fact of it is, there are too many people living here with too much stuff. We don't fit here. In order to be comfortable, only three people can fit.

I want to move out sooooo bad, but no one will hire me....with the exception of someone who hasn't called me back in three weeks because in order for me to have work, the dad needs work...which he doesn't have right now.  It's so frustrating- I've got everything already worked out, down to how much I'd need to live on, but without money I'm up a creek without a paddle.

In the immortal words of Daffy Duck...GET ME OUTTA HEEEEERE!  

It's raining, it's pouring, my beagle is snoring....

And it's been happening for four days straight. Usually I like rain, but this...this is too much. It hasn't stopped for any more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time. The one time I rode my bike this week, I came back with water sloshing in my shoes and dripping off my glasses.  The last time I went four days without cycling was back in September. To make matters worse, I just got a library notice that three books I ordered are in-at a library 9 miles away. I have a week to pick them up. I've only got today and tomorrow free for sure-I may have work next week, maybe even Saturday.

A song from a crazy movie is stuck in my head- Muppet Treasure Island. The crew was stuck at sea for an interminable amount of time, so they started singing 'We've Got Cabin Fever' to the tune of a conga line.
'I got cabin fever it's burning in my brain
I've got cabin fever it's driving me insane'

LOL listened to it on YouTube. That helped.

PS: Off to the library! Woo-hoo!  

Okay. It's official. We DEFINATELY can't afford to live here. When we recently filled out help for food at the Salvation Army, I found out our expenses are $1400 a month (not counting all those doctor bills) while our income barely tops $1100 a month. *Mythbusters voice* 'Well there's your problem!' Now, again, we don't know how we're going to pay rent this month. Ugh. If I had friends to move in with, I would. If Jim wasn't living with my babysitting employers he says what they really need is a live-in nanny. Of course without Jim's income it's doubtful they could afford their house, so...catch-22.

I really don't want to move to Vegas...mostly because I've got a good church here, a good family, a nice job (though it doesn't pay much), and then there's that road bike I still have on loan...

I need to move out, no doubt about it. If I could just find a friends' house to crash at for about six months (that's my estimate of how long it'll take to get work that can support me), I'd be okay. Poor Mom's worried again about where we're going to end up, and I know if my brother and I at least had somewhere to go she'd be less worried.

Double, double, toil and trouble! That seems to be our mantra lately. Mom's been diagnosed with epilepsy and Caasi's got her own health problems now, resulting in five total hospital visits since August; three from Caasi alone since we've moved. Dad's missed so much time from work that his minimal hours are down to something like 20 a week. At $10 an hour, that's not nearly enough to support five people. We've been eating beans, rice, and pasta and living on the credit card, which is just about maxed out, and now we have no money whatsoever to pay rent- which was due yesterday. It looks more likely than ever now that the family's going to have to split up.

Caasi's looking like she'll get into transitional housing. Aaron's trying to start a home business. I've got my babysitting job, but that won't pick up until January. It's looking rather likely it will turn into a full-time thing, but the start date is up in the air. The full-time thing is enough to live on (barely). I'd just need somewhere to crash until then.

I've decided that if nothing turns up locally the best option would be for me to move to Nevada. Housing and food is cheaper, utilities are about the same, and there's no state income tax. I wouldn't like having to find new friends and a new church, but at the same time I'm open to the possibility. California may be pretty, but living here- especially if you don't get paid much- stinks.

Weird how life can throw a curveball when you least expect it and all your motivations can change.

Lately about 90% of my blog-ness has been going to my Bike Blog (see the 'Dream' page of this website) and I've been rapidly despising MySpace. Despite being very well-intentioned two of my friends will not stop posting profanity that I really don't want to see when I first log in.  I'm thinking about leaving MySpace again and not going back, because it's just gotten boring...and annoying. Life was much simpler when I stuck to my own blogs and didn't dip my toes into the muck of social networking. It's rather pointless, actually, with stupid updates and 'friend' requests from people you don't even know. I may stay, but only because MySpace and Facebook are the only ways I can contact certain relatives at this point.

Networks are a poor remedy for loneliness.

Good gravy, what happened?

Well, for starters, Mom had a seizure in late August and our lives have been forever changed. She's okay, but still recovering. Then our lease expired in September and we downsized from a large 1200-1300 sq ft house with a 1/2 acre yard to a 725 sq ft 'cookie tin'. (AKA a mobile home) Everyone has been adapting well to the changes, even our pets.

The upside? We once again have DSL!  

Yeesh, if I let this thing go for that long again, feel free to...I don't know. Kick me or something.

We are DEFINATELY moving.

Why is it official now and not when I first posted?

Because now we've actually packed a set of dishes (one of two incomplete sets we have). Usually that waits until the last second, but this time we're not fooling around. ALL of my stuff is already packed, with the exception of the essentials (toothbrush, hairbrush, clothes, and laptop). A lot of the knickknacks are packed, along with Mom's teapot collection and good china. Aaron's sooo lucky...he actually gets to have some of his stuff moved over today! Hope he remembers to take measurements.

Why, you ask, when I have to have seen a house I will be living in already, even if it will be for only seven and a half months?

Because I HAVEN'T seen it! I did some work in the front yard and saw the garage and living room, but beyond that...I have no clue what it looks like aside from my family's descriptions. Why? I don't know. I just haven't gotten a chance yet...and it's driving me BATTY! They say the backyard is huge...how huge? The bedrooms are small...how small? The kitchen has granite countertops...what color??? I've seen the tile and wood floors, which are very nice, but how can I figure out how to arrange my furniture if I don't know how big my room is or even WHERE it is?!?!?!?

Okay, enough rambling. I think I'm going to buy a newspaper today so we can keep packing. Hopefully I can go over to the house and see what the heck the thing looks like....

            (take a wild guess...)

That's right. We're moving again! 'Will this never end?'  Oh, well. It has a HUGE yard and hard floors that the dog can't easily destroy.

Oh yeah, how could I forget? I HAVE A DOG NOW!!!        I got her 'way back in August and she's all but perfect. Her name is Menolly, and she's a 9 1/2 month oldpurebred Lemon Beagle. A total sweetheart, and...well, if you want to know more about her, visit the Dog Blog on the Pet page of my website.  (shamless plug)

I also have a job!  I'm an amatuer gardener; pulling weeds,planting flowers, putting down mulch, tearing out sod, leveling ground...fun stuff.  At least I'm getting a fairly regular paycheck.

Well,this is the UndercoverJedi, apologizing for now signing in more and hoping to keep this thing updated more often...(yeah, right)